Tick...tick....tick...

Well, this week is #39. Thirty-freaking-nine. I didn't think we'd actually make it to this point. As I'm sitting here writing this, it's dawning on me that I should probably do the big finale post, just in case I go into labor (please, please) before week 40 and I don't have the chance or energy to do it. Right? One can hope, anyway.

Here I am at around 38 weeks with my son, Boo. This was roughly 3 years ago. I started this pregnancy about 20lbs lighter than I did with my current one, and although you can't tell in this photo, my bump was much larger with Boo than it is with Noodle.
You can also see in this picture just how enthusiastic I am to be at work...

For reasons I don't understand, I can't find a picture of me pregnant with my daughter. I wish I could. There's one picture I'd really like to add in here that I just can't find anywhere! Grrr!

Suffice it to say, I was nowhere NEAR as heavy when I was pregnant with her, but my bump was much, much bigger as well. It's as though Noodle is just determined to be more inside than outside.

We can do a quick comparison of this pregnancy, too.

10 weeks

20 weeks

30 weeks

38 weeks

39 weeks

That's a pretty basic run down of the major weeks for Noodle's pregnancy. It's really crazy to look at big jumps like that, isn't it?

Wanna see something even more crazy?

I'm 18 here. This is before I had any kids.

This was mere weeks before I got pregnant with my daughter. 

In this picture, I was about 6 weeks pregnant with my son.

I assure you, I was NOT in these jeans when I was 6 weeks pregnant with Noodle. I started this pregnancy much heavier, but much healthier.

It's this whole idea that gives me motivation through this pregnancy, instead of allowing it to wear me down and tear me down. I'm the heaviest I've ever been right now. Heavier than all the other full-term pregnancy weights, much heavier than non-pregnancy weights...I'm the heaviest I've ever been.

Then I remember I'm a runner. And suddenly, I'm MOTIVATED. I'm using 2014 as my recovery and training year and I'm looking forward to starting to run races again in 2015. I'm also getting excited because I'm the heaviest I've ever been. That means that I'm going to start my training and conditioning from the worst place I've ever started from. I'm hoping that sharing my postpartum training and running will help motivate others out there that are feeling stuck, overwhelmed or depressed by their postpartum journeys. The idea that I might help someone else out there SERIOUSLY motivates me. And instead of fearing my postpartum body, I'm excited by it.

ANYWAY...

I have NO idea how I got to THAT topic *ahem* but let's move on, shall we?

The end of the pregnancy has been just as hard as the other pieces of it. These last few days have been exceptionally challenging, as Mister and I nervously and anxiously await labor to begin. I had my membranes stripped on 12/27, and again on 12/30. Dr John is still hopeful that we can convince Noodle to arrive before my 40 week mark, but I'm beginning to lose hope. Membrane stripping has always been so successful with me that I spent those 3 days between rounds SEVERELY disappointed that I hadn't begun the labor process. Lots of crying, people. Lots of stress.

As of yesterday, I'm still dilated to a large 2/small 3. I'm about 50% effaced, which is frustrating. Noodle is head down and lightly engaged, enough to not worry about a breech turn, but not enough to stimulate my cervix to begin labor. And oddly enough, despite my best efforts and much to Dr. John's surprise, Noodle is STILL in a question-mark position! He is VERY confident that Noodle will turn once fully engaged and I'll still have a successful vaginal delivery, but because Noodle refuses to straighten out and drop, labor is just...teasing me. I have contractions for 30 minutes, then they stop. Then 15 hours later, I have them for 45 minutes, then they stop. I have bloody show, but no progress. I have back labor, but no progress. It's really, really fun.

*ahem* Not.

HOWEVER...the upside is that Mister and I are getting good practice with painful communication still and he's become very, very adept at taking nonverbal cues from me when I'm in pain and has become exceptionally well at responding correctly to come to my aid. I am wildly confident he'll do very well in the labor room when we finally do make it there.

It's ME I'm worried about. I've had my heart SET on a more natural delivery this time, and I still do, but because this painful process has been going on for weeks, robbing me of sleep, rest and comfort all the while, I'm worried that labor itself will overwhelm my pain threshold much sooner than it would had I the opportunity to rest and prepare. Preterm labor for weeks, followed by prelabor for weeks is just...well, it's freaking torture, people. It's TORTURE. And I'm TIRED. And weak. And physically and emotionally exhausted...already. So please, say a prayer, cross your fingers, do whatever and wish me good energy to get through this next step gracefully and successfully..okay?

Which, I suppose, brings me to our next topic:
NO, I'M NOT IN LABOR!


There will be active Facebook updates posted by some of my loved ones during my labor process. Some of you will be called or texted directly when I'm admitted to the hospital, as per your request. I am not the kind of person to go into labor in secret. Too many of you mean too much to me to simply leave you out of the loop. So please, remain seated until the captain has turned off the fasten seatbelt sign. I promise, you'll know when I've gone into labor. Thank you for your concern and excitement, but please trust that you'll be informed...

Before I go, I leave you with this:

This is what a real labor coach does, people. This is why my sister and I scare medical staff when one of us is having a child. Not because we're mean, not because we're bitchy or snappy or angry. No, it's because we're THIS. We use humor as pain relief and we're damn good at it!

Wish me luck that these little contractions turn into active labor in a little while, please...
Oh...and Happy New Year, in case I forget.
Until next time...

Christmas Bump!

This week marks 38 weeks, also known as one of the longest weeks ever. Only because I want to be done. I've finally reached that place where I'll be sad not to be pregnant, but I'm so miserable that not being pregnant sounds good too.

Look how big my tummy is!

Also...I can't believe it's Christmas Eve. It's freaking me out a little, I'll be honest. This year has truly flown by.










How Big is Noodle?
Roughly the size of a baby.

Maternity Clothes?
Oh...oh yes. Sometimes I can still get by without them, but it's pretty rare.
These days, however, even my maternity pants keep falling down because Noodle has dropped enough that baby keeps pushing my full panel down off my hips. It's fun! Right?

Stretch Marks?
I really thought I'd make it through this entire pregnancy without a new one, but I didn't. I have one little, itty bitty tiny teensy weensy one. It's kinda cute.

Sleep?
It's very, very hard for me to sleep now. I've spent the last week concentrating VERY HARD on turning Noodle to the optimal birth position and that's been incredibly hard. It also involves being VERY aware of how I'm sleeping. So I've been left sleeping in my bed (which is hard as it is) with minimal pillows  and a GIANT couch pillow between my thighs. However, I also have to turn almost completely over on my tummy, as far as I can, with my left leg straight and my right leg as high as I can get it bent to as near a 90* angle as possible...and after a few hours of sleeping like that my hip goes numb and my shoulder burns and I wake up and have to pee and then settle back into it and my back is on fire and....oh, it's just agony.

Best Moment of the Week?
When Dr. John told us I was progressing and Noodle wasn't as posterior as before and should be in a good birth position if baby will engage where he or she is at now.
All this hard work hasn't been for nothing!

Miss Anything?
Not hurting.
Running.
Sleep.
Peeing like a normal person.

Food Cravings?
I'm back on the apple kick again. Go figure!

Food Aversions?
Anything large, honestly. I don't eat big meals anymore for fear I'll go into labor and throw it all up anyway.

Labor Signs?
Well, I've been losing large pieces of bloody mucus for the last couple days. It's been my experience that is a fairly good sign for me, but usually I lose it all at once, so this is somewhat new to me.
My contractions haven't been painless for awhile, but now they're downright agonizing. Thank goodness I'm only having a few a day!
Multiple soft stools daily. (Yes, this is a sign of impending labor.)
I'm an emotional basket case. I seriously cried the other day and I still have no idea why. Then I saw our maternity pictures and those made me cry. The Christmas tree makes me cry. I cried while watching a stupid sitcom. It's dumb. I cried in the shower last night because I successfully managed to shave my legs.
Yep, I'm a basketcase. And yes, this is a sign of impending labor for me.
Hot flashes.
I've been nauseated today. Just more signs that my body is "clearing out."
Hormone rushes, too.
And I'm so easily hurt right now, it's stupid. Everything hurts my feelings.
OH...and NESTING. I'm a nesting MANIAC today! WOAH.
I'm also anxious and panicky. Oh joy.

Looking Forward To?
Well, right now I'm looking forward to spending Christmas with Mister, my family and my kids when they return from their father's house.
Then I'll be looking forward to membrane stripping on Friday, if I don't go into labor before that. Right now I'm thinking I may go into labor on the 26th, but if not and I end up getting stripped, I think I'll have the baby on the 28th.
But I've been so wrong this whole time...

Random Stuff:
This has been my first experience with OFP (optimal fetal positioning) techniques and I can say it's REALLY REALLY HARD when you're THIS pregnant and you're THIS miserable. I recommend all pregnant women ask their providers for their fetal position in their 30-34 week stretch so there is not only more time to move the baby, but more room. I've been in an absolute PANIC all week trying to get Noodle out of a posterior position and into a more optimal birthing position and it's been hard, hard hard and nerve wracking, too! Please, people, learn more about this if you're pregnant and be aware of it in the beginning. There were a million things I could've been doing throughout my pregnancy to avoid this all together, had I known.

Like I said earlier, I'm into that "I'm done" stage a little bit. I truly didn't think I would be with this pregnancy, and I'm certainly surprised I'm here so quickly, but I am here, nonetheless. I'm absolutely TERRIFIED of labor and delivery this time around and I'm saddened that my pregnancy will be over, and this chapter of my life will be closed, but with the back labor, positioning pain, contractions, complications, overall misery and general PAIN...yeah, I'm looking a little forward to moving on to the newborn part.

In the meantime, however, I am trying very hard to enjoy every moment of this Christmas with my kids, family and Mister while still being largely pregnant and a bit more free-handed before our lives settle into a family of 5. The romantic in me is still in love with having a large bump next to a dimly lit Christmas tree and quietly drinking cocoa by the fire with Mister. As hard as these last few days or weeks are on me, I'm still wildly in love with this Christmas with my loved ones. And having Noodle still so close to my heart is just adding to the sappy sentimentality of it all...

On that note, friends and loved ones, Merry Christmas to you and yours. Enjoy every single second, people. All of these moments truly are non-returnable gifts...and my favorite gifts of the season.

Until next time...

Update!

Well, we had an appointment with Dr. John today. It went really well! I've dilated an entire centimeter this week, leaving me at a big 2. My cervix is soft and has begun to efface, but he didn't give me a percentage. And Noodle is super low! However, baby is also not completely turned, so we're still somewhat sunny side up. Dr. John gave us some instructions on stretch positions we can try to encourage Noodle to finish turning. I'll let you know how that goes.

Other than that, things are great. I'm continuing to lose mucus and yesterday it was somewhat brown. Since the appointment this afternoon, my contractions have picked up intensity and it's not comfortable, but it is typical. We talked about membrane stripping and I've consented to allow it after Christmas, but only then. Dr. John readily agreed. We also discussed some of my birth plan details and I'm confident that Dr. John is completely supportive of my decisions, barring complications, of course.

So... Now we wait. I've been told to increase my activity level even more, but I'm somewhat hesitant because we're so close to Christmas and I'd rather not have a Christmas baby or spend Christmas in the maternity ward.

However, I'm in quite a bit of pain now. We may find that my exam irritated my cervix enough as it is and just going to my daughter's concert tonight will throw me over the edge...I can't be totally still just yet...

I'm very excited! Noodle is almost here!

Our next appointment is Monday, so I'll update more then, if not before.

Until then...

37 weeks!

This week marks week #37. For those of you who subscribe to the same GA calendar I do, that means I'm officially FULL TERM.

Yes, pregnancy is counted on a 40 week calendar. But at 37 weeks, we've reached the zone where Noodle has 99.99% chance of being fully and completely developed and totally capable of sustaining life without any medical intervention outside of the womb. Dr. John, as well as most OB/GYN's count 37 weeks as full term because of this.

So shall I!

Now let's remember that Dr. John is very excited to deliver this baby whenever it decides to make it's appearance, and has encouraged us to "feel free" to go into labor whenever I'd like. *laughs* Because we all know how much control we have over that... In other words, Dr. John is in NO WAY concerned if I go into labor at any moment.

Neither, friends, am I. 






I could tell you how big Noodle is these days, but truth is, I don't know. Noodle is big enough to make his or her entrance into this big world any time he or she is ready. I'm estimating that Noodle will be closer to 7lbs than 6lbs and closer to 20" than 18". But honestly, what do I know? I guess we'll just have to wait and see!

Lately I've been pretty torn about how I'm feeling these days. A large part of me is already well under the spell of wanting labor to start NOW. That feeling of being done with pregnancy likes to rear it's ugly head at me fairly regularly. The other part of me is very, very sad. (Complete with late-night crying jags over mounds of chocolate!) I love how safe and protected Noodle is right now and I sincerely don't want Noodle to have to leave that wonderful place in there. I'm sad about not being pregnant anymore, or ever again. I'm sad about never experiencing anymore kicks and hiccups and even the stupid back pain. It's hard to say goodbye to this part of my life. I'm sure my emotional outbursts are fueled heavily by the raging hormones my body is experiencing as we near labor and delivery, but often I find myself daydreaming about how beautiful pregnancy is, how much I love the gift of creating life inside me and how heartbroken I am over it ending very soon.

All of that beautiful, sentimental stuff does, however, take a flying leap out the nearest window as my anxiety builds and all I want is to hold my baby in my arms and kiss Noodle's eyes and look at those incredibly small, exquisite little fingers holding on to mine.

People, it's a battle I'm not going to win. It's going to be over, regardless of me, and I'll be left picking up the pieces of BOTH of these sides of myself. In the meantime, I'm just trying to contain it all from bubbling out of me and onto the innocent people around me!

This last weekend, Mister and I went to his company Christmas party at a local resort. It was marvelous, as it always is. We dressed up pretty (see picture above, although Mister had already removed his tie and jacket!), we socialized with other adults and enjoyed a truly incredibly holiday feast. We even won $100! Our intent was to also spend that time on a sort of "Babymoon." We realized going into that weekend that it was going to be our last weekend out before Noodle came, and we wanted to savor every quiet moment together. I'm not sure what that resulted in for Mister, but speaking for myself, that feeling of subtle loss shadowed the entire experience for me. Every little thing was "the last_____" for me and I was left feeling emptied out and tired by the time we left. We managed to get quite a bit of great sleep (the beds there are INSANELY comfortable) and had some out of this world treats, but as we drove away I couldn't help but feel we'd officially left our life behind and headed toward a whole new part of ourselves completely unknown to us. I want, very much, to feel the sense of adventure that comes from that. I truly do. And I think a part of me sincerely does.

I think a lot of pregnancy blogs out there, and certainly a lot of mothers and fathers, try to consistently wax poetic about the beauty, joy and happiness that comes from a new baby. And friends, there is certainly a lot of it! But I think people are rarely willing or capable to voice the reality that comes with it, too. I'm not talking about the late night feedings, sleepless frustrations and lack of feeling human those first few weeks, goodness knows we've all heard a lot of THOSE stories, too. No, I'm talking about this sense of being completely lost. I have 2 other children and I can say that for me, each and every pregnancy brought out this same sense of being hopelessly lost. I have no idea what's coming. Will Noodle truly be born healthy without any significant challenges, or will we face being parents to a disabled child? How will Mister and I function as parents of a biologically shared child and will the differences we feel because of that change how our other children perceive us? How are we going to function at 2am in 6 weeks postpartum? Will we remain understanding and patient with each other, or will we fall victim to the notoriously destructive postpartum period that actively ravages most couples? And how in the wide, wide world is my heart going to open even further to love another child?

There's no map or compass for these things. There are lots of people out there who sympathize, offer their support and encouragement, tell it like it is and remind constantly that those feelings are normal and safe. And they are. That's all true, friends. But that lingering feeling of the fear of the unknown cannot be swayed by experiences in these matters, advices from friends or quiet support of peers and loved ones. It's still there. It's a big piece of who I am and I struggle with it until each of my children are born, safely, into my arms and then well into the postpartum period. Truth be told, I don't think it's necessarily unhealthy. In fact, I think the fact that I not only think these things consciously, but also emotionally process them, make me somewhat more prepared for what mysterious challenges lie ahead. I just wish more people would voice it, than bottle it up and sell us all the story of the fairytale. It leads a lot of new parents (and hopeful parents) into a world of lies. Having a new baby IS wonderful. It's beautiful and magical and there's truly nothing like it. From conception to delivery, from those first few days until they're grown and having children of their own, I believe having a child is very, very awesome. And beyond all that, when you realize it's your last new adventure and you're almost back to camp from the woods of pregnancy, newborn in your arms, answers in your hands, it's also very...final.

I guess that's enough rambling for now. Don't get the impression that I'm in any way upset, because that's not really the case. I'm so excited for Noodle to make an appearance that I almost can't stand it! I just wanted to take a second to voice the emotional upheaval of a mother at the end of her LAST pregnancy. Because those emotions are very raw and very real and very rarely ever discussed. We can smooth them over with discussions of hardship and babysitters and future date nights, but there will always be a very live, very aching part of me that missing the feeling of my mind, heart and body heavy with child.

And that, friends, is just that. Like it or lump it.

Well, let's get off of THAT deep topic and onto something a bit lighter, yes?

We have another appointment with Dr. John tomorrow and I'm anticipating hearing if I've been progressing or not. After our family had a fight with the flu bug this last weekend, I feel that Noodle has dropped significantly because of the physical exertion from all the vomiting I did, and I'm hoping to have that confirmed. The last few days, I've been dealing with what lots of moms out there call "lightening crotch", where Noodle's head is so low on my cervix that every little wiggle sends a bolt of lightening through my nerves! If I stand up or lift a leg to put my pants on or try to slide my foot into a slipper, this horrible lightening occurs. It makes me gasp outloud and stop in my tracks, too. It's is wildly no fun, but a good sign, I think. On Sunday, I was 90% sure I was in pre-labor, but much to my own dismay, it stopped. I woke up that day feeling "off" and having increasingly significant contractions throughout the day. I wasn't willing to walk in public for very REAL fear of either a membrane rupture or an intense contraction. And I ended the night by walking almost 3 miles downtown in the dark. Which, of course, lead to continuing contractions at 2-4 minute intervals until nearly 4am when I finally fell asleep.

Today is very similar and marked progressive with the presence of other symptoms as well. I've had another increase in cervical mucous discharge and it's increasingly pink. My back pain has become rythmical at times and is accompanied by a severe ache in my upper thighs. (For those of you who are unaware, thigh muscles naturally sympathize with the uterus. So thigh pain is common in the early stages of labor  and in fact, relaxation of the thigh muscles during active labor is one of the more important ways to handle pain tolerance and shorten the active labor phase...just saying...) I've spent the majority of the day feeling very, very strange. (This is a very common symptom in early labor too, usually marking labor within the next 72 hours or so...but there's no scientific way to prove that as each woman's "off" is different than the next.) My entire body tingles with each contraction and the pelvic and cervical pressure is becoming overwhelming as they continue. Contractions are not, however, consistent or increasing at this point. I'm dealing with an increase in bowel movements and emotional upheavals, as well as energy waves that leave me nearly destructively productive, then incredibly fatigued.

To top that all off, my "Mom Alarms" have been going off since Sunday. Today they're blaringly loud, friends.

Now there's no real way for me to say I should be in labor soon, as we all know my labor could still be 3 weeks away. There's no list of symptoms that will help me determine when it will all start. And truth be told, I'm already past my estimated date! But my instincts are telling me it will be sooner rather than later.

Waiting for labor to start is like waiting for a bomb to go off. It's the most miserable part of pregnancy for me. I'm constantly monitoring every little stinking thing and analyzing it for clues to impending labor. I can't wait to pee again without analyzing that experience, too! And sleep...oh sleep...

Well, I suppose that's it for now. I know I didn't do the questions, but I had more on my mind than whether or not I needed more maternity clothes or had new stretch marks.

The answer is NO to both of those, by the way. Tee hee!!

See you soon, friends. Be well!

Oh what a relief it is!

Alright people, I have so many great things to tell you this week. But let's start with a picture of my huge belly.

<--Look at that thing! That's 36 weeks of baby belly. I can't believe it's as big as it is. Although, I'd say it's absolutely a struggle to bend over and reaching my toes is on my Christmas list this year because I can't do it anymore. I can't put on my own shoes or socks and it's nearly impossible for me to lift my legs high enough to even get my pants on by myself anymore. I'm a little worried that I'll be completely naked due to disability by the time this child comes into the world...

My count: 36w3d
Dr. John: 35w6d










I could make you wait until the end of all those questions to read the updates from today's appointment with Dr. John, but truth be told, I'm getting a little sick of those questions and why make you wait? So here's what's up:

Noodle is still head down, and that's great. Noodle has become disengaged, however, since Noodle was engaged 2 weeks ago at 0 station, and is now currently sitting at -2 station and ballotable. (Ballotable means that baby is floating in the amniotic fluid and not positioned firmly in the pelvic bones. This term technically applies to anything freely floating in fluid.) The good part about the baby being ballotable is that Noodle still has the opportunity to turn face down, because currently our lovely Noodle is sunnyside up.

That, friends, makes me anxious. Turn your head, Noodle! Turn your head!!

I do NOT want to go through a sunnyside up labor and delivery, if we can manage it. So please, friends, say your prayers and such to get Noodle engaged correctly.

In other news, I'm still dilated to almost 2cm, and that makes me happy! I'd be very happy to be at 3cm at our next appointment on Wednesday, but we all know that dilation is really just nature's way of messing with a pregnant lady's mind...so, I'll just keep thinking positive about that.

Dr. John said my cervix was still long and he wasn't comfortable assigning an effacement percentage to me, which wildly contradicts Nurse C's assessment of 70% effaced 2 weeks ago. Grr. But I'll take it because honestly, most 3+TM's (moms with more than 2 previous births) don't really efface or engage before active labor. So honestly...it means very little.

We did the Group B swab today, what a wonderful experience that always is, am I right ladies? I've never tested positive for that and I'm not anticipating I will this time, but it'll be a relief to know I don't need the antibiotics during labor.

Needless to say, my contractions have picked up a little since the cervical exam this afternoon. Both in intensity and frequency. I can't tell you how RELIEVED I am to know that if I go into labor RIGHT NOW Noodle is safe and they won't stop the labor. It's been SO stressful to feel a panic at every contraction, every cervical twinge, every painful uterine and vaginal pressure...it's great to know that from this moment, going forward, everything is good and we can just roll with it.

That being said, Dr. John not only lifted all my restrictions, but encouraged me to gently encourage labor going forward. Not just because we all want this pregnancy over, but since it's been so hard on both Noodle and I, he feels that gentle progress would be best. None of us are expecting it to take much to convince my body to just do what it wants, but it's nice to know I can go up the stairs without risking anything, or wear my nipple shields without the fear of preterm labor. He encouraged me to do all of that!

But for those of you who are thinking of asking me about induction, don't bother. I don't believe in medical induction unless it's an emergency situation. And I don't believe in ingesting anything to induce myself, either, so save your stories about castor oil, raspberry tea and primrose oil. I trust my body to do what it needs to do when it's ready and capable of doing so. Truth be told, this pregnancy has been so hard that I honestly believe labor is going to be sooner rather than later and faster rather than slower. The last thing I want to do is rush it! I will allow a membrane strip at 40+ weeks, but only if we make it that far and only if I'm not showing signs of labor beforehand. That's about as induce-y as I get. ;)

(And just so we're all clear, I told Dr. John the same thing. He started talking about induction as early as next week and I told him I don't believe in it, so our conversations regarding techniques will be short and sweet.)

So, basically, here we go, people. It's go time. We've got the green light for me to resume normal activity (as long as I'm resting just so I don't exhaust myself before labor) and a green light for safe labor and delivery at any moment going forward. I can finally do the things I need to do to get ready for breastfeeding without worry of nipple stimulation, and I can even do a load of laundry or two or grocery shop without feeling like I'm the worst mother in the world! Huzzah!

And while you're praying for Noodle to turn his or her head, please also add that I'd prefer to labor and deliver and night instead of the day because I'm very, very familiar with the night staff at my hospital and I'd love to have someone I'm comfortable with rather than a total stranger.

So...you wanna know all those questions now?

How Big is Noodle?
Big enough to come out, that's how big.

Maternity Clothes?
It might sound foolish, but I did buy a new maternity skirt and tee shirt from the Goodwill this week. I figure I'll be in maternity clothes for awhile postpartum, so it'll work for me either way.

Stretch Marks?
No. Mwahahaha!

Sleep?
This answer honestly never changes, does it?
Sleep is terrible. I'm in the middle of HORRIBLE insomnia right now, so I'm falling asleep sometime around 4am and getting up every hour to pee and getting off the couch around 9am.
Yeah...

Best Moment of the Week?
Being told I can resume normal, and possible INCREASED, activity is pretty awesome. And knowing that Noodle is safe if I go into labor is really, really, really awesome.

Miss Anything?
Remember that bending over thing I mentioned earlier?

Food Cravings?
Fresh fruit and juice.
And water.

Food Aversions?
No. None. I'll eat whatever you put in front of me.

Labor Signs?
Contractions continue. And since my cervical exam today, they've become a bit more intense and painful...
Back pain.
Thigh pain.
Vaginal and cervical pressure.
I've lost A LOT of mucous over the last 48 hours. In fact, I lost a large bit of it today at the appointment! Mildly embarrassing...but also encouraging!
Irritability.

Happy or Moody?
Not at all either one. Just an emotional wreck. Every little thing continues to make me cry.

Looking Forward To?
Taking a hot shower in about 20 minutes. My back is ON FIRE.


Well, that's about it.
I'd like to say that I'm still sticking to my prediction of the 16th, which is next Monday...just 5 days from now. I'm sure I'm wrong, but I'm sticking to my guns on this one. Especially since I'll be resuming activity between now and then.
I am taking predictions and storing them in my phone, for anyone that wants to participate. I can't say there's a pool, exactly, as there's no real prize for winning except the bragging rights. But I'd love to hear people's predictions just for fun!
(I'd also like to officially say that I think my mom is right on this one...we'll just have to see!)

Have a wonderful week, everyone.
Until next time...

I'm late, I know...

This blog is a little late, and I apologize. I'm finding it harder and harder to get a good belly shot for these things, and if I can't do that, I lose ALL motivation to do it at all.

I guess I'm a bit tired, eh?

Anyway...it's time for an update. Let's get to it, shall we?

I say I'm 35w4d, but the hospital will tell you I'm 35w1d. Against my better judgement, we should start using the hospital's calculations going forward. Not because they're correct, they're not actually, but because the next few days are crucial if I go into labor, and they REFUSE to listen to my GA of 35.4. So if I go back into active labor, they'll try to stop it until I'm 36 weeks according to THEM. You'd think that 4 day difference wouldn't really matter, and it doesn't for most circumstances, but because I've battled PTL fairly heavily for the last couple of weeks, it matters A LOT. I could scream and kick and they'd STILL continue preventative measures until I've reached THEIR standards.

So...yeah.

Anyway you slice it, LOOK HOW HUGE I AM!






How Big is Noodle?
Gianormous. Just...absolutely gianormous.

Maternity Clothes?
As you can see from the picture above, I'm as big as a freakin' truck. HOWEVER...just like that sweater suggests, I'm not ALWAYS in maternity clothes. Usually, but not always.

Stretch Marks?
Nope. I thought I saw one the other day, but no. Still doing alright in that department.

Sleep?
As usual, sleep is a problem. I am suffering from crazy insomnia again, despite my best efforts. And I haven't been able to sleep in bed for weeks. Not only is it easier for me to remain on my side on the couch, but because I wake up to potty so often, I can't navigate the stairs to our bedroom safely anymore. Not only can I not see my feet, but my hips and pelvis are RIDDLED with Relaxin and every  now and then, they decide not to do their jobs and I fall down. So Mister and I decided I'd spend my last few weeks on the couch to be near the bathroom and stay safe.

It seriously sucks, though. Honestly. I miss Mister. :(

Best Moment of the Week?
My baby shower!!

Baby Name Reveal!

After our lipstick competition...

It was a 1940's USO themed shower and it was really great. It was fun to wear the hat and the dress and see friends and family. It was hosted by my sister, my brother, my mother and my mother in law and they all did a truly spectacular job.

Miss Anything?
Running.
Sleeping.
Bending over.
Not hurting.
Working legs/hips/back/pelvis/body.
And regular sized bras. Seriously, mine must be made by an entire team of people and 40 yards of material. Sheesh!

Movement?
Noodle is still quite active, but the movements are very restricted now.
The other night Mister was able to feel Noodle do one of the famous stretches, where Noodle's hands are in my hips and Noodle's feet are in my ribs and Noodle keeps stretching...stretching...stretching...
It was fun to see the look on Mister's face! He now better understands my pain...somewhat.

Food Cravings?
Just FOOD. I can NOT stop eating. It's scary.

Food Aversions?
None. I'll eat whatever. Seriously. Watch your fingers!

Labor Signs?
As usual, I have quite a few labor signs. Hence all the labor..
I've lost quite a bit of mucous the last 3 days. Yesterday it was slightly pink!!
Contractions, contractions and more contractions. Because I have them so much, they don't even pay attention to them at my NST's anymore, unless they're causing me more than usual distress.
*ahem*
Back pain associated with contractions.
Vaginal, rectal and pelvic pressure associated with contractions.
And for the last 48 hours, a general feeling of unease. ALL of my Mom Alarms are going off. This baby is near, people.

Happy or Moody?
Emotional as all heck! I'm an anxious mess and I keep crying over everything.

Looking Forward To?
My next NST. I've only got 2 left. After they're complete, L&D will no longer stop labor.

Random Stuff:
This week Mister and I have packed our hospital bags and I packed Noodle's diaper bag. It's really nice to have that completed. I also completed washing all Noodle's clothes, so we're officially DONE with prep!
The only things left to do are make cloth wipes and cloth wipe solution. I'm not in any hurry, however. Even if Noodle showed up without that ready, it wouldn't be the end of the world. Mister and I have decided that I need to be as near bedrest as possible until 36 weeks, so I'm putting it off until then. After that, I'm going to resume normal activity.
Not that it's been possible, mind you. LOL. Between errands, Christmas prep, running children around, and so on...I've been practically FIGHTING for bedrest status the last couple days. It's been REALLY frustrating, to say the least, but the extra rest I am getting is well worth it.
I'm willing to bet Noodle is officially at +1 station. I could physically FEEL Noodle descend even further into the canal the night before last, and the pressure and change in my contractions since then have only confirmed my suspicions. I am also willing to bet I've dilated more since the last cervical exam. I have a feeling Dr. John will be doing a cervical exam at my next appointment on the 11th, and I'm VERY excited to hear about any progress. If those things haven't changed I'll be very, very surprised.
Speaking of a change in contractions, oh my...how they've changed! I stopped having "painless" Braxton Hicks contractions 2 days ago when Noodle descended. Since then, every single contraction starts in my back and hips, rolls to the front and tends to take my breath away.
I wonder just how tired Noodle is of all these stupid contractions? Because I'm fit to be tied...

Well, until next time, friends...

34 weeks! (very long update!)

How Far Along Am I?

Today I'm 34w2d. And I feel every single day of it! (Including the foot stuck squarely behind my rib at this very moment...*ahem*...)

I took this picture moments before I headed into my first NST of the week. Had I known the adventure that lay before me that night, I would've chosen a more comfortable outfit, but the tank tops ended up being rather perfect.

We'll get to that later, friends...












How Big is Noodle?
Noodle is over 5lbs and around 19" long. Or so the statistics would say.
I think Noodle is a little shy of 5lbs and probably closer to 17-18" long. Not because I think Noodle is behind the curve, but because I don't believe Noodle is going to be a very big baby. Or adult, for that matter...

Maternity Clothes?
As you can see from my picture above, I'm not ALWAYS in maternity clothes. I ended up throwing a man's button-down shirt on over those tanks, and that's pretty standard for me these days.

Stretch Marks?
Nope!

Sleep?
As usual, sleep is difficult for me. Now that Noodle has dropped, sleeping on my side has become incredibly difficult without a billion pillows between my knees, so I'm back to sleeping on the couch for the most part, because it's so much easier to accomplish an upright position. But that's not helping my insomnia at all...so...sleep is really just fleeting right now. Oh, and let's not forget that my son has been having horrible nightmares the last few nights, so he's up and down throughout the night with terrors, keeping me awake, too, even if I'm not battling insomnia. Hooray.

Best Moment of the Week?
Well, honestly...the best moment of the week was when I got some IV Dilaudid and for the first time in many, many months, nothing hurt at all and I was incredibly sleepy. As much as I hate taking narcotics, it was a beautiful feeling to just...rest...and be pain-free for a little while.

Miss Anything?
Running.
Sleeping.
Bending over.
Tying my own shoes.

Movement?
Noodle was VERY active earlier this week.
Since Noodle has dropped and become fully engaged, the movements are slower and smaller, but still there.

Food Cravings?
I'm on a red meat kick right now. I think I might need iron...

Food Aversions?
None. I'll eat everything and anything at this point. I'm STARVING.

Labor Signs?
OH...yes...so many.
Right this minute, I'm timing contractions. They're currently 2:45 minutes apart (average) and lasting almost 2 minutes long, accompanied by back pain, pelvic pressure and hip pain. If they continue for 45 minutes, I'll drink a gallon of water and lay down. If at any point my thighs begin to hurt, I'm going to the ER.

We'll get back to all this at the end of the post...

Happy or Moody?
I haven't been either, really. I feel like this week I've been much more distracted than anything else. With the holiday preparations, as well as getting ready for Noodle, my mind has been too busy to stay focused on one mood.

Looking Forward To?
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, my favorite holiday! I'm looking VERY forward to that!

Random Stuff:
Alright...so, it's time for an update on what's happened this week...

On Monday night I went in for my NST, like usual, but it didn't end up that way. But let's start at the beginning....

Saturday, around 10am, I started feeling contractions. We were at my daughter's basketball skills practice, and I started to time them around 11, when I realized they weren't letting up. They weren't painful, but they were definitely uncomfortable, and I took several breaks from her practice to walk around outside to get them to subside.

They didn't.

Those contractions, in fact, didn't let up all day. Or night. At about 10:30pm, I took a hot shower in my last ditch effort to get them to quit. It certainly felt great on my back, but it did nothing for the contractions. They were steadily 2 minutes apart. It had been 12 hours. I was exhausted and trying to stay hydrated, but after my shower I literally laid down on my bed for a minute and passed out from the strain all day.

I woke up on Sunday morning, determined to have a better day. My contractions were still present, but they weren't getting closer together or hurting more than the day before. They were just...the same. After I'd gone to the bathroom, however, I noticed I was losing mucous. It wasn't a lot, but it was definitely there and that's when I started to get a little nervous... For the rest of the day I watched for more labor signs like a HAWK. No spotting, no more mucous, no fluid loss, no increase in pressure, no increase in contractions, no change at all! Zip! Zilch! Nada! It was just these stupid contractions on and on and on...

(Now, for those of you unfamiliar with my situation, 2 minute contractions aren't necessarily a cause for me to run to L&D for evaluation. Because I've been struggling with these throughout the last trimester especially, and doing twice-weekly NST's, I've been advised to come in for evaluation if they change, increase, or are accompanied by other labor signs.)

I told myself Sunday evening that I had an NST the next day, so I needed to just keep it together and hang tough. While a few of my contractions were getting slightly  more painful, not ALL of them were, and the painful ones were several hours apart. If I could hold on until my NST, I could ask the nurses about it at that point and maybe get a cervical exam to be sure it was nothing to worry about.

Well, friends, that's when things got a little weird...

All through Sunday night I was awakened by contractions and the constant need to pee. My contractions had become more uncomfortable, were accompanied by more pressure and this constant need to empty my bladder. Not every few minutes...CONSTANT. I told my sister and Mister about my mucous and my contractions, and reminded myself that I was going to the hospital that night. Unless it became urgent, I could wait until then.

Then I went in for my NST.

By the time I got to the hospital, I was exhausted from days of contractions and it hurt to walk. Days ago, I felt Noodle drop, and at this point walking has become comical. So when I walked in the door of L&D, the nurse asked me immediately if I was alright. I was moody, pale and breathing heavily. As we made our way to the exam room, I explained what had been going on and how I was feeling now. I made it clear that the contractions had become much more painful, but were still bearable, and I was still convinced they were just Braxton Hicks contractions with a little attitude.

10 minutes on the monitor confirmed contractions 2 minutes apart.
The doctor on call was watching my monitors from his house and called the nurse to order a cervical exam and an FFN test. At this point, I was saying "ow" during the contractions and taking a deep breath or two, but I explained to the nurse before she began the exam that my contractions were starting in my back, not my front, and I could feel them in my hips.

The cervical exam proved I was beginning to dilate. I was a 1-2 all the way through (meaning my internal and external OS were both dilating). It also showed that I was 70% effaced. The nurse smiled up at me and said, "Your baby is so low I can feel the head with my fingers. You're fully engaged. I'm going to call it 0 station."

YAY! Wait...Noodle...stay put...

My contractions picked up because of the cervical exam and now I was having to stop talking and breathe through them.

The doctor called from home again and ordered some IV fluids while we waited for my FFN results. While the IV was administered, my contractions picked up even further. They were lasting more than a minute, were consistently 2 minutes apart and were picking up in intensity! I had to actually FOCUS through them. The nurse noted this and we both agreed they'd probably knock it off in a half hour or so and blamed it on the cervical exam.

20 minutes later, the doctor called from home AGAIN and ordered a shot of Terbutaline. It's another medicine that may help relax smooth muscles, like the uterus, and is often used to help stop contractions. The side effect of this medication, however, is a racing heart, sweats and shakes. And it burns like the dickens, I might add!!

After the first shot and a 20 minute wait, I was shaking like I'd just had about 4 pots of coffee in 10 seconds. And my contractions had become WORSE. At this point, they were making me tear up a little, lasting over a minute, a soft 2 minutes apart, and I had to talk outloud to myself and breathe, breathe, breathe. They were starting in my back, wrapping around the front, and were putting enormous pressure on my cervix. When my nurse came back in to check on me, she saw how much pain I was in and noted that the contractions weren't slowing and left to call the doctor back for instruction.

I got ANOTHER shot of that burny stuff! Ugh!

20 minutes later, we were both relieved to find that my contractions were now spacing out rather well. The problem was that they were hurting WAY WAY more. They were almost 100 on the TOCO scale (the external measurement of contraction intensity..it's honestly only about 30% accurate...) They were straight up PAINFUL. I was making it through them okay, but I had to focus and breathe and I was still tearing up. I refused to cry, but I said to the nurse, "This baby wants out. I can feel it in my cervix and all the vaginal pressure. The contractions are spacing out, but they're increasing and I'm telling you, this baby is trying very hard to get out. We gotta do something. Should I walk or shower or something?"

She said she agreed they were labor contractions and not Braxton Hicks, and wanted to keep me overnight and try something else, but she needed the doctor's approval and went out to call him.

I laid there terrified. What if we couldn't get them to stop? What else could we do to keep it from progressing?

The nurse came back in, changed my IV fluid bag to a second one and did another cervical exam. She concluded that I hadn't dilated enough to consider it progressive, but she was concerned that if my contractions continued to increase in severity that I would begin progressing very soon. The baby is so low! So she wanted to give me an IV narcotic to relax me (and take away my pain, she felt so bad!) and make me sleep. Her and the doctor both agreed that it was worth a try. If I could relax even further, perhaps the contractions would stop being labor contractions and return to inconsistent Braxton Hicks.

I immediately agreed. At this point, I was willing to do anything.

So, I called Mister and asked him to come stay with me, and they moved me into a room. I was grateful for the bed, believe me, but I was very nervous about the conclusion. This had to work!

After eating a terrible sandwich, the nurse administered the IV Dilaudid. It was AWESOME to feel so relaxed, I'll be honest. I fought through it for about a half an hour, just long enough for Mister to show up and talk to me for a few minutes, then I fell asleep.

And was woken up by a monstrous contraction!!

And fell asleep.

And woke up to another contraction!

The fell asleep again.

Then woke up again to more pain!

This went on for several hours. The contractions were DEFINITELY spread apart, but man did they hurt! Enough to wake me up from a full-fledged drugged-out sleep! It sucked, I'll be honest. At some point they hooked up another bag of fluids. Around 6am, the contractions finally started to taper off pain-wise. They were already very spread out, which was great, and now they were started to feel less like labor and more like uncomfortable Braxton Hicks again.

After determining that they were calming down and I wasn't progressing at all, I was released at about 6:30am.

I was told to be very careful and to come in for evaluation for ANYTHING from now until 36 weeks. We were all very glad I felt better, and we want it to stay that way!

Needless to say, Mister and I are exhausted. We're still trying to catch up from the rocky sleep at the hospital and my body feels like it got hit by a train. My contractions have started again this morning, but are very Braxton Hicks-ish and have already slowed down again. I'll go in if they pick back up, but I think I'm just going to have to deal with off and on Braxton Hicks today. Ugh.

It was a pretty scary evening for me, to say the least. I really want to stay pregnant as long as possible and it's obvious that Noodle disagrees! But I'm confident that we will make it to at least 36 weeks. I'm just going to be very, very careful and overly sensitive to contractions or pressure or anything else. All last night and this morning I've been losing small pieces of mucous, but if we can keep from having anymore progressive contractions, that mucous can grow back. That's my goal right now. It hurts to walk because of how low Noodle is and I have a very hard time standing up or sitting for too long because of the pelvic and cervical pressure. I have another appointment with Dr. John on the 11th, which is my first safe-zone week (meaning they won't stop labor at that point because Noodle will be 100% viable after delivery). I have an NST tomorrow after Thanksgiving dinner, and I'm going to keep it, despite the holiday.

I'll certainly keep everyone posted. For now, just keep us in your prayers and keep your fingers crossed. In 2 weeks, they stop preventative measures...

Until next time, friends...

33 Weeks and counting...

This is me at 33w2d, according to my count.
(Sorry about the dirty mirror. Boo streaks it up faster than I can keep it clean these days...)

If I make it to 40 weeks, that only leaves 7 weeks remaining. I have no reason to believe I'll last that long because Noodle has been trying to escape for weeks, but every night before I go to sleep I say a prayer and visualize myself making it to January. I don't want Noodle cursed with a Christmas-week birthday, neither before or after, and certainly not ON the holiday itself! And if we could skip New Years Eve and New Years Day all together, that'd be great, too.

So...Noodle...Mommy is instructing you to stay put until January. Do you hear me? JANUARY.






How Big is Noodle?
At last week's ultrasound, the tech measured Noodle's head at 10.25cm. Which means baby is already bigger than the door necessary for escape...so...while I'm VERY happy Noodle is growing and thriving and doing well in there, I'm already plagued by the very real physical memory of delivery.

Heh. *ahem* Needless to say, my anxiety level has begun to climb higher as the weeks count down...

Noodle's head to heel length should be somewhere around 19". It's hard to know for sure, but that's the statistic.

The tech also measured Noodle at 4lbs 10oz last week, give or take. So we'll estimate at least 5lbs this week. Sound fair?

They say Noodle is around the size of a pineapple this week. A pineapple!

Maternity Clothes?
If I'm not wearing them, I'm in pajama pants, hoodies or the very limited amount of larger-size non-maternity tops that still manage to hide the belly.

Stretch Marks?
None so far, thank goodness. Not that I'd really notice anymore, honestly...

Sleep?
Sleep is beginning to elude me once more. I've suffered from TERRIBLE insomnia this last week. And when I finally DO fall asleep, I'm roused awake by brain-splitting headaches, the urge to potty, body-tearing contractions or the general feeling that I can't breathe.
Needless to say, I'm wildly uncomfortable and very, very tired from lack of any good sleep whatsoever.
I am, however, VERY clean from all the showers I take in the middle of the night in my feeble attempts to relieve pain and relax. So that's something, right?

Best Moment of the Week?
Truthfully, there hasn't been any good highlights this week concerning the pregnancy itself. I've been maintaining the status quo, and I think that's a good thing.

I did, however, get to watch my daughter play basketball for the first time last weekend. And while it was awkward because of my incredibly unsocial ex-husband's presence and I spent quite a while chasing a very grumpy toddler around the school, it was worth every second to see her out there! She's had to overcome SO much to be comfortable enough to play a team sport, I couldn't be more proud.

Miss Anything?
Sleep.
Running.
The ability to walk more than 8 feet without feeling like I've just run 10 miles.
Bending over.

Movement?
Noodle is moving around a lot these days, which is one of my biggest comforts as we near the end. It's very obvious there's limited room left in there, as the flips and turns are now capable of moving my entire mid-section and the same time. I've had a very good time watching Noodle's movements when I lay on the couch at night.

Food Cravings?
We're back to cold cereal and hot apple cider.

Food Aversions?
Not anything new, thank goodness.

Labor Signs?
(NOTE: From here until the end of the pregnancy, I may, at times, include graphic details related to labor signs, symptoms or other information that some readers may be too sensitive to read comfortably. If you have trouble with sensitive information or find it offensive, insulting or inappropriate, now would be a good time to stop reading my blog and return after labor and delivery has completed. Thank you for your understanding.)

 I'm still having those darn contractions, but they're apparently something I'm supposed to ignore. So...yeah.
Increase in mucous discharge.
Menstrual-like cramping off and on.
Increase in backache accompanied by contraction.

My doctor and staff are continuing to keep an eye on me, but at this time these symptoms are not seeming to do much progress, so we're unconcerned about PTL at this time!

Belly Button?
It's not changing. I don't think it's going to.

Happy or Moody?
This week I've been a bit moody and a lot emotional. The happiness creeps in, but due to life stressors and other factors, I've found myself doing more weeping and brooding than any smiling.

Looking Forward To?
I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving next week, that's for sure!

Random Stuff:
I'm continuing to limit my activities because I feel that's doing more good than anything else at this point at keeping the contractions to a minimum. It's hard to try and keep myself inactive as the holiday season gears up, but I'm maintaining well and I'm still managing to get quite a bit accomplished from the comfort of my couch. I'm grateful for that.

I keep getting smacked in the face with the realization that Noodle will be here VERY SOON. It's magical to me that the wonder and anticipation returns at the end of each pregnancy, even while I'm aware of the impending hardship and heavy workload.

With my first pregnancy, I hit that wall where I was very anxious for the pregnancy to be over so I could hold my beautiful baby, and I was very, very done being pregnant. With my second, I didn't really get that feeling at the end, so much as I just wanted to return to work at my normal capacity as soon as possible because I was tired of being on light duty. With this pregnancy, I'm actually DREADING the end of the pregnancy. Don't get me wrong, I'm looking forward to labor and delivery (so motivated am I to do it differently this time!), but even with all the anticipation, I don't want to stop being pregnant. As hard as it's been, I'm saddened by the idea that this is nearly over and the astonishing feelings of Noodle growing strong within me is almost gone. I know I've said that before, but it's ringing more and more true as the days and weeks fly by.

I talked with Mister yesterday about how quickly this holiday season is drawing this pregnancy to a close. With Thanksgiving this week, we'll hit full-term before Christmas and then it's A LOT of prayers that Noodle stays put until after Christmas and New Year. Because of all the hustle of the holidays, these weeks are mere flashes as they pass us by. Noodle could realistically be here within a month's time. All of these months of preparation and waiting...and here we are facing the reality of the end and it's flying by so quickly, I'm afraid I'm not enjoying it ENOUGH. So I told him that I wanted, very much, to do as much as we could to enjoy the rest of this pregnancy during our holiday season. We needed to pay more attention to Noodle and keep the busy holidays from stealing our attention away from these final weeks. I'm sincerely hoping we can do that. For all of our sakes.

Anyway, that's enough for now. I'm getting all emotional again and that's just ridiculous.
Until next time, friends...

T-Minus 8, or so they say...

I postponed the weekly update because I had an appointment scheduled with Dr. John today and I wanted to wait until I had all the information I could get for you, fellow readers. However, tomorrow I have an ultrasound now, so there may be yet another update after that. (There probably will be, you know me...) However, I didn't want to put off the weekly update that far into the week. So...here we are, catching up. Pour yourself a cup of whatever makes you happy and sit a spell...

How Far Along Am I Now?

According to me, I'm 32w2d.
According to my doctor, I'm 31w5d.
According to my fundal height, I'm 34w.

I'm going to say 32w2d, because that's what I know. So there. Mwahahahahaha!

My tummy is growing at a very rapid rate right now and will continue to do so until delivery, but I feel like a house. I'm looking forward to feeling like an apartment complex before the end of it.

I FINALLY had strangers ask me how far along I was. FINALLY. At 8 months pregnant. Sheesh! But 3 different people asked me all on the same day. It was nice to finally be recognized as pregnant and not just fat.






How Big is Noodle Now?
I'll know a lot more about Noodle's weight and length after tomorrow's ultrasound, but according to statistics, Noodle should be about 4lbs and roughly 19" long.

Noodle is certainly is long enough to push against my ribs and pelvic bones at the same time! While I secretly enjoy those painful rib stretches, they are indeed rather painful. It makes me happy, though. It means my baby is in there doing his or her baby thing! Stretch, Noodle, stretch!

Maternity Clothes?
I purchased a few more shirts this week so I could keep my belly covered. As you can see from the picture above, even my previous maternity tops are beginning to get too small. But if I'm not in maternity clothes, I'm in overly sized clothes for lounging. I only go out in public in maternity clothes, however.

Stretch Marks?
Nope. I thought I had one the other day, but I had just scratched myself. Tee hee!

Sleep?
Sleep is still a hardship for me, and beginning to get even worse. My insomnia has returned and continues to plague me for roughly half the week now. I'm getting up several times to potty and I have a hard time falling back to sleep, if I've fallen asleep at all. This has left me incredibly tired during the day, but I try not to take naps unless absolutely necessary, in hopes I can fall asleep later that evening.

To make matters worse, Noodle HATES when I sleep on my back, so now I've got to wedge a pillow behind my back to keep from rolling off my side. To keep this from happening, I tend to sleep on the couch more often than not.

Mister laughs at my nest when I do sleep in bed. I'm so surrounded by pillows and blankets now that he can't even see me! But a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

Best Moment of the Week?
We've kept it under wraps for the most part, but Mister and I went and had maternity pictures taken this last weekend! It was incredibly hard for me to do because we had to do quite a bit more walking than I've been doing lately, but we took it slow and the photographer was great about being patient and understanding when I struggled.

I haven't seen even ONE myself, but you can rest assured, when I do, I'm going to share those things with pride! We had a GREAT time and I'm really looking forward to seeing the end result.

It was absolutely WONDERFUL to be able to do that. I never got the opportunity to do so with my previous kids because my ex-husband was pretty...idle. It was such a fun experience, and Mister is such a good sport! I'm very lucky to be with a man that loves to experience things with me. It's not something I take for granted. I think we had quite a few stunning pictures, too, so I'm REALLY excited to see them! Hooray!

Miss Anything?
I still miss running, of course. But I've come up with some GREAT postpartum strategies and I'm more motivated NOW than I've EVER been to get back to running and get into shape. But...that's another blog, for another time...
I miss sleeping!
I miss feeling like I can breathe!
And unbelievably, I miss doing chores! (I'll regret saying that later, I'm sure.)

Movement?
Noodle is typically very active. There were a couple days that Noodle was a little more quiet than I'd like, and I had to do active kick-counts to be sure there was ENOUGH movement, but there always is, even if it's very subtle. With the cramped quarters, it's now very easy to see movement from the outside, as well. Mister got to watch the kicks earlier today at the doctor's office. However, as usual, Noodle is quiet when others are around and I have YET to have the opportunity to share kicks with either of my Moms or siblings. I keep hoping, though!

Food Cravings?

Ice Water!

Apple Juice!

Oreos and milk!

Fried kielbasa and potatoes! 

It's been a very crazy week for cravings. You can probably throw baked potatoes in there, too, but that's a fleeting craving. What a weird, weird food week.

Food Aversions?
Hot tuna fish.
This, of course, isn't appetizing to me when I'm not pregnant, either. But lately, just the THOUGHT of it makes my stomach turn. Ugh.

Labor Signs?
Nothing new, really. I'm still having contractions in clusters, sometimes up to 15 an hour for 3+ hours. I've got a pulling/tearing sensation in my cervix this week, and a bit more mucous discharge than before, but nothing really worth note.
(And for those of you who know the story...yes, I know what my cervix feels like. Ha ha!)

Belly Button?
It's still there. I'm not an alien, as we suspected!

Happy or Moody?

I've been kind of a jerk this week. Truthfully.

I could give you a million reasons, but it all comes down to me being an big, grumpy jerk.

Sorry, people.

I tried.



Looking Forward To?
The ultrasound tomorrow!!
I've never had a late term ultrasound before. I'm VERY excited to see Noodle this close to delivery! And it'll certainly put me at ease to SEE everything is alright in there. After all these scares, it'll really be a welcome comfort to have visual confirmation that things are truly alright.

Random Stuff:
Taking me off the Procardia has certainly taken away all of the near-fainting spells I was experiencing. It hasn't, however, taken away my shortness of breath. Dr. John and I are convinced this is just a symptom associated with my pregnancy, despite it's different sensation, and neither of us are concerned. My blood pressure, urine and lab work all confirm that I'm safely normal in every aspect, so my shortness of breath is just another thing not to worry about. I can easily manage it by sitting down with my feet up, so it truly is what it is.

Like I said before, my fundal height is measuring 34 weeks. That's perfectly normal at this stage. Dr. John isn't at all concerned about that and I look forward to getting an even more accurate growth measurement at tomorrow's ultrasound!

I've been experiencing a KILLER nesting urge this week, so much so that I've done too much and overdone it a couple times. (Believe me when I tell you I pay for it later and have found myself in hot showers, sobbing, because I'm such an idiot!) However, I'm getting rather intrigued as to what my moon chart says because these instincts aren't typically this strong this early. While Dr. John and I are confident I'll make it to at least 36 weeks, I'm wondering if I'll make it much past that.

(Fun Side Note: 36 weeks is the 12th of December...!!)

Truth be told, everything is good. I'm still in loads of pain and dealing with very limited activities, but I'm finding relief from stopping the Procardia. The twice-weekly NST's continue and they're doing A LOT to put my mind at ease, as well.

Speaking of NST's, we've discovered that Noodle does NOT like it when I lay on my back. Noodle has no good accelerations when I'm on my back and only shows good heart accelerations when I'm on my side. I spoke with Dr. John about that today and he assured me that it's absolutely NOTHING to be concerned about. He explained that Noodle just isn't comfortable that way, but the lack of good accelerations in that position is no reason for concern whatsoever. Noodle is perfectly fine. So that took a HUGE load off my mind.

Well, that's about it for now. I am so excited about our ultrasound tomorrow that I'm sure I'll have a hard time sleeping. I feel like a kid at Christmas!

I'll update all of you fabulous readers just as soon as possible!
Until next time...

T-Minus 9!

I'm really having a hard time writing anything today. I have no idea why, but my brain just isn't wanting to function at it's creative capacity. I apologize for the mostly boring post today.

How Far Along Am I?

Definitely not the greatest pic, but it's accurate. This is how I look at 31 weeks along.

I spend most of my time in hoodies these days, as the weather remains chilly and I refuse to crank the heat up. The Procardia I take for contractions makes me even colder, so more often than not, I'm shivering anyway. And that hair...oh, that hair... I know, I know, I should do something with it. Truth be told, I spend so much of my time sitting or laying on the couch with my feet up that just about anything I do with it ends up getting completely destroyed anyway. So unless I'm making one of my rare trips out, I pretty much throw it into a messy ponytail.

So, yep. This is how I look. In fact, I took this picture about 5 minutes ago...





How Big Is Noodle Now?
Well, according to my research, Noodle is about 18" long, from head to heel. And over 3lbs. Some people say about the size of a Butternut Squash. I say big enough to roll around and move my whole tummy. :)

This week, Noodle can move his or her head from side to side!

Dr. John has confirmed that Noodle is still head-down, as well. Wahoo!

Maternity Clothes?
Like I said earlier, I spend most of my days in hoodies and maternity jeans. Beneath my hoodies are typically maternity tees or tanks. I can't fit into any "regular" clothes anymore and I've grown out of so many of my maternity clothes that I've started a donation bag in the basement!

Stretch Marks?
I have been quite lucky in this category so far. I have no new stretch marks at this point. In fact, my previous stretch marks aren't even stretched out yet.

Sleep?
Well, when I do sleep, it's pretty deep. I wake up several times through the night due to pain, and I almost always end up taking a hot shower at 3 or 4 am trying to get relaxed enough to fall back to sleep.

Unfortunately, I spend a lot more time on the couch than in bed now, too. Laying in bed is much more difficult than on the couch where I can easily prop myself into a semi-reclined position.

Best Moment of the Week?
Well, it sounds dumb, but I got through 4 IV needles and 2 hip shots without crying or losing my cool. I only cried during one, when the nurse accidentally tried to stick the IV needle through one of the valves in my vein. That hurt. But I managed to face a fear of new nurses with needles and made it through with deep breathing and focus. It was encouraging to me for labor.

Miss Anything?
Running, of course.
I miss being able to breathe comfortably. My diaphram is very squished right now and breathing isn't very easy.

Movement?
Noodle moves A LOT!
When I went in for my first NST last week, they had me push a button every time the baby moved so they could track movements in accordance with contractions. Noodle was easily moving an average of 15-20 times an hour. That's GREAT!
It is obviously getting more cramped in there, however, and the movements now are more pronounced and painful. But they're happy! I love all the movement!

Food Cravings?
Not really anything pronounced. My apple craving has dwindled. Except for hot apple cider, I still want a lot of that!

Food Aversions?
Nothing really makes me queasy right now, either. Isn't that great news?

Labor Signs?
Frequent, painful contractions lasting longer than one minute at intervals of 3-5 minutes apart for more than 3 hours.
Extreme pelvic and vaginal pressure.
Rythimcal back pain associated with contractions.
Consistent painless contractions...more than 8 an hour for the majority of my day.
Thigh pain.
Irritability and emotional outbursts.

...yeah...I'm a joy right now.

Belly Button?
My belly button isn't going to pop out. As a matter of fact, I was noticing yesterday in the shower that the two "lobes" of my belly have become more pronounced on the sides of my belly button, as opposed to flattening out more. While my stomach is certainly getting tight, my belly button seems to be staying on top of the majority of my uterine growth.

Happy or Moody?
I don't think I've been moody, exactly. I've been much more emotional than grumpy. I've been getting syrupy sweet over things or crying over nothing or really sentimental. I haven't exactly been happy, though, either, because I've been in such consistent pain and worry for the last week or so. But I'm not unhappy.

Looking Forward To?
I'm looking forward to going in for my next NST tonight. I've become familiar with a large percentage of the night staff at L&D and they're all fun to hang out with. It'll also give me an opportunity to listen to Noodle's heartbeat....and that's always one of my favorite things in the world!

Symptoms to Note?
Oh, that's just funny now.

Random Stuff:
Well, everyone should take comfort in the fact that the 2 steroid injections went well. I was terrified of them because of all the things I read about pregnant women claiming it was incredibly painful and oh, so horrible! But honestly, an IV hurts worse than those shots. They burned like a bee sting for about 10 minutes, but that's it. I wasn't impressed. I am glad, however, that I have that peace of mind that if I do go into active labor in the next couple of weeks, Noodle has more respiratory protection than not.

The Procardia I'm taking to help ease my contractions doesn't seem to be having too much of an effect on me at this point. It's been less than a week, so I'm anxious to see if it gets more helpful as I continue taking it. It makes me cold and tired, but my contractions have remained the same throughout this regime so far. I'll certainly keep everyone, including Dr. John, updated!

The last two days, my contractions have been accompanied by menstrual cramp-type pain. That's somewhat discouraging for me and in a couple instances, made me rather nervous. To make matters a bit worse, Noodle has shifted or lowered or something because now walking more than about 10 feet causes some pretty extreme vaginal pressure and I have to stop walking all together. It hurts to sit with my legs together or lay without something between my knees to keep my pelvic bones separated. I'm bringing both of these things up with the L&D nurses tonight at my NST.

Twice, however, those menstrual type cramps have woken me up from a deep sleep. They're inconsistent, mostly, and aren't accompanied by any other worrying symptoms. But I'm going to keep my eye on things and report everything to my medical staff.

Needless to say, my nerves are a bit shot. I'm constantly concerned about going into active labor or my waters breaking or losing more mucous... So I've hunkered down even more than last week. I sit or lay constantly, only walking from room to room when necessary to take care of my son or keep my blood flow active. I flat-out refuse to go the store, lift anything, walk anywhere, or any of it. I just can't handle anymore worry if I'm going to reduce my stress. So...here I am. And truthfully, I'm making the most of it. I've accomplished a lot of Christmas projects and I've got a lot more to do before the holiday season gets in FULL swing. It's not all bad! And my son and I have had a lot of time to just hang out and watch cartoons and talk about Noodle.

Well, that's it for now. Sorry I'm not too eloquent today. I'm tired and a bit scattered. Maybe next update will be better!
Until next time...