After the severe nausea of the first trimester, my mind adjusted itself to images of me run/walking through the second and into the late third trimester, still griping about maternity running gear and putting at least 15 miles a week in. I even envisioned pushing the stroller so Boo could come along in the afternoons, come rain or shine.
Well, then I got some fairly terrible round ligament pain, accompanied by a warning from my nurse to "take it easy."
So...there went THAT idea.
But somewhere in the back of my mind I held on to hope that I could resume at least WALKING through some of these weeks, my body needing so badly to move and exercise.
*sigh*
As of yesterday's trip the L&D for evaluation due to unknown pain, I've been advised to take it EASIER. I'm tempting PTL (preterm labor). Not only can I never run OR walk through the end of this pregnancy, but now I can't sweep, go up and down stairs, do chores, run as many errands or really do anything. I realize it's what's best for me and Noodle, everyone knows the very last thing I want is for someone to tell me I'm grounded to bedrest, but I find myself grieving the loss of HOPE that I could at least walk for exercise at some point. Now I can't even walk to my own basement, unless it's absolutely necessary.
I come from a long line of women who absolutely do not just sit still. Even when we are sitting, we're typically either completing some sort of project, or busy making lists to plan the next. NOT doing the dishes sitting there, or cleaning up the toys on the floor, or throwing in that load of laundry...well, that's just not how we roll. How am I going to manage that?
I think the most challenging part for me is going to be learning how to do things while still doing less. It's not even a matter of efficiency, as much as priority. My mom made a good point that I need to be home more, not at the craft store or visiting my family and friends. I hate that, but it's wise and true. Mister has restricted me from doing absolutely anything unless completely necessary. I can cook dinner, as long as it's not very complicated. He said I could run my 3 errands today, but that's it. No chores. Nothing else. And he means it, folks. Yes, he's adorable and insanely thoughtful, but this is his child, too and I know he means business when he says I'm not allowed to do anything. He gets a say, too. And as his loving partner, I've got to respect his wishes. If he demands that I be still and allow him to pick up the slack, then as much as it makes me absolutely crazy, I'm going to. That's how he's participating in this pregnancy right now and darn it, he gets to.
The monitors confirmed I'm having quite a few contractions. They're irregular, but more than the 4 an hour that's recommended. However, they're smaller ones and aren't causing my cervix to dilate at all, so that's the good news. Had I been dilated at all, bedrest would've been in my future. The medical staff explained that I have to keep my contractions from increasing in strength or consistency, so rest, rest, rest. While I'm not as limited as a PTL patient would be, they strongly advise that I adhere to as many of those limitations as possible to keep from becoming a PTL patient, because that's where I'm headed if I don't.
The good news? Noodle has a great heartbeat, is wildly active and all of my other tests came out great. My blood pressure was perfect, I've got no proteins in my urine, I don't have a UTI or kidney infection, and no signs of blood sugar concerns. My swelling, while present, isn't concerning. Everything looks good. And their plan is to keep me cautious so it STAYS that way.
Noodle was pretty hilarious at that hospital, I'll be honest. When they started up the monitors and began strapping them to my belly, Noodle got upset almost instantly. It must have been the noise or something, but it was kick, kick, kick, roll, jab, kick the entire time. Mister even got to SEE Noodle kick the heartbeat monitor! That was a lot of fun. And the nurse kept losing Noodle's heartbeat because that baby was just NOT going to bit still. Beyond hilarious, it was wildly comforting. Our baby is doing really well. There are absolutely NO signs of distress whatsoever and they are confident we can keep it that way.
Oh...and for you prediction-minded people...Noodle's heartrate is still consistently 135 bpm. :)
I've had quite a few friends and mothers I've helped through pregnancy deal with PTL. It's not something to take lightly. And while it's comforting to know I'm not there yet, it is nerve-wracking to know I'm almost there. I spent my first two pregnancies working. With my daughter, I worked 2 jobs. With my son, I worked 50 hours a week until the day before my water broke, and that's only because my water broke on my day off. All of these jobs were on-my-feet-physical-type jobs, not office jobs or desk jobs. AND I maintained our homes, AND I still did the errands and the dinners and the blah, blah, blah. And at 5 months pregnant with my son, I moved my daughter and my pregnant self to our own apartment across town and handled all of that WHILE still maintaining a more than full time job, only to come home and night to being a fulltime single pregnant mom, too.
Medical staff continues to tell me it's my third pregnancy and I'm 30. I realize that's just a real part of all this. Third pregnancies are supposed to be harder than previous or subsequent pregnancies. For some reason, third pregnancies tend to just be miserable. I get that. I also get that I feel it more because I'm more aware of my body. I understand that my pelvic floor is weaker because of my age and previous pregnancies, and that my body "understand what to do" and is just doing it. Like spreading, cracking and expanding very well...and very easily. (And early...grr...) I get ALL of that. I know that what I'm experiencing isn't all that horrible, that I'm whining about taking it easy when so many other moms out there have it a hundred times more difficult than I do, or are on bedrest, or are currently dealing with PTL medications and procedures and all of that. I do, people, I seriously get it. But knowing it doesn't make it go away or easier to live with. I'm in freaking pain...every day. I'm already experiencing back pain associated with contractions. Rapid onset blinding headaches. Hip pain, and sometimes, hip disfunction that causes me to fall or be unable to walk or stand. Knowing that it's "normal" doesn't make those things just...poof...disappear. It makes them just as stupid, but unscary. That's about it.
It absolutely breaks my heart that I've gone from one of those women who barely allows pregnancy to disrupt her daily life, to being unable to do a load of laundry because there's a set of stairs between me and the washing machine. That makes me nuts.
In short, everything is okay and it will remain that way if I just...stop. I have to rest now, before I'm forced to. That's pretty much where we are. I thought I WAS resting, but apparently I need to get even more proactive about being inactive. Tee hee, that's a fun way of saying it. And I will. I am already. I will ask for help over things I normally do myself and I will smile while I do it. I won't venture out unless I need to, and I'll learn to be more efficient so when I do venture out I'm accomplishing more and doing less. I resolve to not let this get out of hand.
I'm just going to whine about it because I feel like a lazy bum...
Until then, I'll leave you with this updated picture of my gigantic self...
 | |||||
| 27 weeks... |
"Mama, can I take pitshur wif Noodle?"
"Sure, Boo. How do you wanna do it?"
"CHEESE!"
*click*
He's going to be an AWESOME big brother...
Until next time, friends...
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